Up the creek
I'm stil in Frankston, only now it looks like it might be for the long haul. Jesus, look, the best way to explain it is the video.

Leaving Time
Still here. But plans are most definately afoot. Got around to making a video once I got it all straight in my head. You can find there here or in the talk section of course. I'll let you know how it goes soon enough.

St George's Day
I'm still in Frankston. Sorry it's been a while, but things here have been, well, somewhat hectic. Christ, never known a lot to find reason to drink like the pommies. They got a saint for every month of the year, which is just one more reason to go down the boozer really, but what are you gonna do? Say no? Not bloody likely. Still, you wonder don't you, all these crazy things that happen when your drunk. Bound to really. I mean if you're gonna go get ruddy slaughtered (they sometimes call it 'rat arsed' round here, but I have yet to see a bloody rodents backside that reminds me of a large night down at Kangers), as I say, if you're gonna get ruddy slaughtered then, I mean, shit is gonna happen. Pardon my language mum, but Jesus Christ, there's bloody all else to do, less you got a Capri or a GTi (its the type of cars the lads here drive - pretty pacey when you get em out in the open), so it's down the pub. And I'm not complaining. Not really. It's a good laugh, you know, usually. But shit will happen when you're pissed. Know what I mean?

A Frankston Round Up
Well now, let's see what there is to tell you. I've been here a little longer than expected, but that's not the end of the world. Hanging out with a good bunch of lads, getting a feel for the place. Should be back on the road in a few days. If I can stop going out for a minute. We got pretty plastered last night, I have to say. We got John to drive us over to Bournemouth for a night out at this place called Elements. Got quite wrecked on a couple of the ping pong tidlies Roscoe was buying. Getting up for the Hotel this morning was a bloody nightmare.

Roscoe asked me to put up another link to his site, since now he's into this ruddy Roscoe Stock malarkey. Wants to invite the German rave scene to Frankston. If their "beer festivals" are anything to go by, he'll be lucky to get two gay fellas and a Frau who looks like she's bee hit in the face with an anvil. Still, here it is:
www.frankston-online.com/Community/roscoe/home.html.
To be honest, I think it's a bit of a fools errand. He's already got the locals on his back, check out the Frankston Gazette this week for that. The guy's a troublemaker, you know, like Timmy can be after a few too many tinnies. Likes rubbing people up the wrong way. He's not been treating Shazza that nicely these last few weeks either. Been racing off around Poole in that bloody car of his with Mark and John and leaving her alone. And it's not like there's a lot for her to do around here, except get pissed with me and Richie.
Which, lets face it lads, beats anything else hands down.

In Town
I'm still in Frankston. Going out tonight so I've quickly done a weekly round up on the old web cam - catch that here. I'll be back with another update when I get the chance.

Local Customs
Jesus Christ, last night was a monster. I'll explain it in the video - they seem to be going down alright don't they. And yes Nev, I do write down what I want to say on the laptop, I'm not the bloody memory man.
I've been meaning to put in a link to Roscoes site for a while, easiest thing seems to be to go to www.frankston-online.com and find him on the community pages. Past that, you can find last nights video here. At least you will when the lazy bastard gets around to uploading it.

Working Boy
Took a bit longer than I'd have liked, but I'm in at the Marionette - small little hotel in Frankston. First impressions - well you know the start of An American Werewolf in London? Frankstons's been like a subdued version of that ruddy pub. But like the size of a town. Anyway, this week has really hit that image home. The pie shop owner looked at me like I was something the ruddy dingo dragged in. That happened a couple of times before Shazza got me in at the hotel. Should suit me for a week or two anyway.

The Bad News
Word has arrived from mum. Here's the video for a quick run down of my personal reaction, but for an in depth explanation, it breaks down like this: You might recall the non-event that was Petes' German Beer Festival. Well during my stay, the Hotel Gneisenau in Leipzig decided to interpret my German as "set up a standing order for the next six months and keep taking my money. Even when I'm not staying in your ruddy hotel". Which they went and did. So I am somewhat perilously in debt at this stage. Just as I make to the opposite side of the ruddy earth too. I talked to Roscoe about it this week and he says his girl, Shazza, might be able to get a job at some hotel in Frankston for a week or two. It's not ideal, but bloody hell, what choice do I have? Still, Frankston's been a laugh, and these are a good bunch of lads to be stuck with. Shouldn't be too long until I'm back on the road.

St. Patrick's Day
Still in Frankston. Decided to stay the weekend for a few more nights out with these lads I've met. I haven't got as far as Piccadilly Square or one of the royal Sheila's Palaces, but then I haven't felt the need to leave Frankston just yet. Like pouring a fine pint, you should never rush these things.

The Brits, and I'm really talking about the English here, often have a problem with their neighbours, always bloody complaining about the Europeans, and hell the Welsh, Scottish and Irish too. But all that goes out the window when you get some tradition that involves drink and celebrations. Can't say I'm gonna complain, but it just strikes me as a bit hypocritical. For instance, this Sunday gone was St Patrick's Day - some Irish fella - and they celebrate it with Guinness promotions in the local. So me, Roscoe, Mark and Richie head down there for a few bevies and end up saluting the old green orange and white. Guinness: Three for two. How could they? The Frankston sanitation commission must have had a great time this morning, seeing a dozen big black Guinness turds float their way. Jesus Christ. Pity I didn't make to Ireland for this one myself. Still, I'll get some tickets sorted this week and be there for Easter.

The Nazis get to Frankston
Check out the ruddy town newspaper for this one. Stirred up a hell of a fuss did this, all of which can be found at www.frankstongazette.co.uk. Don't quite see what the bother is about myself, what with the war being over for sixty bloody years. Still, these bastards think the next town over is a ruddy hive of scum and villainy. It's like nobody's ever left the bloody place.

My First Video
Whey hey! Pete Jones, presenter for the 21st Century or what! An introduction from the man himself can be found here.

An introduction to Pommie culture
I arrived in England last week as stylish as ever. The ferry from Calais to Dover was an opportunity to drink some of the cheap duty free booze and meet some pommies, get a lay of the land, if you will. I got chatting to this couple, Irene and Steve. Seems like a reasonable fella, Steve, bought me a round for being an Ozzy and him being a fan of the Wallabies. Anyway, an hour later I'm feeling pretty bollocksed, and go for a walk. I open the bar door and see the bloody horizon helter skelter past me like a dingo with a itch it can't scratch. Well that does me no end of harm, and Steve and a couple of the stewards have to carry me off the ferry, puking my guts up. Hello Blighty.

Anyway, I get myself sorted out. That takes me past mid day, and I strike up conversation with an old guy called Justin at this cafe, who's heading back to a town called Frankston where his brother runs a bedsit. And that gets me a place to stay for a few days. He tells me this place has 'rural charm' and a real 'sense of identity', the exact same cobblers Gaffa has to feed tourists back home. I figure I'll see if he's talking as much bollocks as Gaffa. Might be they dress dead end towns up better on the other side of the world.

There's an Internet company in this place, apparently, so I'll pop in to see about getting a web cam - you know I've been thinking about it since Anton showed me his in Prague, and that's not what I mean Timmy - the results of which will be up in a day or two.